Hermit Crab

Today is the end of my work week… and I have doctor’s orders to “get more sun.” It just so happens that I am prepared for that in more ways than one. I have my iPod and the headphones this time. I have something to read; and I don’t have to be anywhere for any reason for anyone. So I planned to take a drive out to the beach again today after work. However, the weather may not be cooperating like it did last week. Nevertheless, I have been invited to meet a friend at her community pool, which is much closer… and cleaner (no sand) and private (no screaming kids). This is not the way I intended to spend my free afternoon, but this is probably the best thing for me; so I think I’ll adjust my plan to meet my friend and get a little socializing in at the same time, since I tend to become pretty much a hermit crab on my days off.

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately. Why do I tend to close myself up inside my house on the weekends? I’ve decided it’s because: 1) I don’t have the financial freedom to do anything that costs money; and 2) I have a tendency to let other people dictate how I should spend my time. I don’t know how to set the boundaries because I don’t like confrontation, so I tend to please everyone but myself. The coward’s way out is to simply retreat inside my shell – my house. When everyone is out, like they were last weekend, I revel in my solitude. But only for a while; then it starts to get lonely and I can’t make myself focus on anything: it’s too hot to work outside, it’s too uncomfortable to sit at my computer; and it’s too boring to watch television (reality shows are going to be the death of me).

So this weekend I am challenging myself to go and do and be a friend to those few friends I have left. I vow to reach out to them, to see if we might agree on some mutually-gratifying activity; and see if they can lure me out of my isolating shell. Lord, help me to do this and be gracious about it AND let me have fun doing it!